41 (the counting days)

it is gone

the days

the countdown

i never made it past 40

interesting enough

and it is gone

i had wondered

what it'd feel like

perhaps like a rising sun

or perhaps like a flower bloom

but never

this

never expected it to feel so good

i do not remember this

i wonder if i ever did

speak the language that so many speak

and i wonder if many actually do speak it

it is gone

and i made it

perhaps i had glimpsed it

just once

before

when

the 

days

counted

but this

this

is something

that i could not have imagined

this is real

and i am here

and i can feel it

so much

that it almost overwhelmed me

and how did i not know this before?

and what changed?

how did this happen?

i can remember

the counting days

and i remember

the dark

and the bad

and it felt nothing like this

this...

this is like looking at forever

and how did i not see it?

my days are still counting

but never, never like before

it is gone

and my days have started

counting up.